But now that I know firsthand, I present to you a log of my thoughts during my stay in the Philadelphia International Airport, also known as Purgatory. Given the ample amount of time I had to ponder the mysteries of life, I assure you it is both insightful and brilliant.
9:00 pm:
Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. What the hell am I going to do? This is horrible! Oh my God, I can’t believe this. No way can I afford a hotel. I am going to be in this airport for 12 hours. I cannot believe this is happening. Ok, stop crying. Control yourself, it’s not that bad. Just stop crying.
11:00 pm:
"Big Bang Theory" is getting really old and "Bride Wars" looks like it was taped right off the silver screen. At least my little area has an outlet and faces a giant window. I can watch the planes. Oh wait.
11:30 pm
I probably should have gotten something more to eat than Starbursts, Honey Nut Cheerios, and a liter of water. I shall ration the starbursts and make them last all night!
12:00 am
Those were good Starbursts. Wait…damn!
There is no point to these armrests. What is the goddam point? People get stuck here all the time, why would they make these chairs with arm rests? You can’t lie down! Maybe if I twist my head this way and my hips this way…Aha! There we go. This is semi-comfortable. Or at least, it might be if I keep telling myself it is. Gotta make sure I’m in physical contact with my stuff at all times so no creeps come by and steal it.
3:00 am:
What. the. hell. Why is there what appears to be a fire alarm going off right behind me? Someone shut it off! I know you don’t want to listen to it either! And why are there “Philadelphia International Airport” announcements going on? No one is here to listen to them! Except me, and I have them memorized. All I want to do is sleep, just to make the time go by.
4:00 am:
Maybe the floor is more comfortable.
4:02 am:
Nope.
5:00 am:
mmssgrrrgmsjftgtiyshrghiroisdb
6:00 am:
Hey! Other people! Other early morning airport-goers to share my misery! Hey guys! Wanna get some breakfast? Oh, the shuttle is finally running. Off to my correct terminal.
7:00 am:
Terminal B is much warmer than Terminal F.
8:00 am:
Maybe I’ll get an Express Spa massage. Pretty much every part of my body hurts from trying to sleep. Eh. It’s basically a dollar per minute to sit in a rumbling chair. Not worth it.
8:10 am:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, rumbly.
9:00 am:
Time to board the plane. I’m finally going home!
9:30 am:
We have to de-ice. But how long can that really take? I’ll be in Burlington by 10:30!
9:31 am:
Apparently it can take half an hour. Sleepy time. Person to my right, I apologize in advance if I drool on your shoulder.
12:00 pm:
Plane landed. Zombie got off. Walked through airport. Waiting for bus. Skipping class. Never flying again.
I think I tackled some pretty deep philosophical problems during that trip. Note to self: $70 is worth it to stay in a hotel for the night instead of contorting yourself into a tightly bound ball of limbs and stress while trying to catch some shut-eye in a terminal.
Other note to self: it may be worth it to call the parents of your friend who live twenty minutes away from the airport and would probably have been perfectly fine with taking in a stranded traveler for the evening. ;)
ReplyDeleteLove the blog Liz! :)
.....hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That was probably your most horrible flight experience, and that was the funniest thing I've read in a while :). I cannot say I feel your pain, I've never flown before :(
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