Sailor as a Second Language

The thing about dating a sailor in the Navy is that you start to develop a whole new vocabulary. I have had phone conversations that have made my friends raise their eyebrows at the incomprehensibility. Sometimes I hang up and think about how nonsensical everything I just said must have sounded to an outside listener. It kinda reminds me of this Harry Potter quote:


“It just didn’t occur to me that we wouldn’t be able to get out at the other end. I had your fireplace connected to the Floo Network, you see—just for an afternoon, you know, so we could get Harry. Muggle fireplaces aren’t supposed to be connected, strictly speaking—but I’ve got a useful contact at the Floo Regulation Panel and he fixed it for me. I can put it right in a jiffy, though, don’t worry. I’ll light a fire to send the boys back, and then I can repair your fireplace before I Disapparate.” (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, pg. 45)

As Mr. Weasley is saying this, the Dursleys have absolutely no idea what he is talking about. That’s how it feels sometimes when I’m talking about the Navy—like it’s a different language.

Here’s a typical conversation that may take place between my boyfriend and me on any given night:

L: Hey, how was your day?
D: Not bad, kinda busy though. I had duty the night before and I didn’t get in my rack until about 0200.
L: Didn’t you say your berthing is all the way on the other side of the ship?
D: Yeah, from where I had watch, but not from the shop. Now I just have to go up a couple ladder wells and walk down one p way and I’m there.
L: Cool. How are you doing with your quals?
D: I just have a couple more things to do for the first part and PAO is helping me get it done.
L: Nice. Did you get a chance to go to the NEX yet?
D: Nah, but I’ll go tomorrow, my hair’s out of regs anyway.

And so on. Now let’s see that conversation again in English:

L: Hey, how was your day?
D: Not bad, kinda busy though. I had to stay on the ship and work the night before and I didn’t get to bed until about 2 in the morning.
L: Didn’t you say your sleeping compartment is all the way on the other side of the ship?
D: Yeah, from where I was standing watch, but not from the Mass Communication Specialists’ work station. Now I just have to go up a couple sets of steps and walk down one passageway and I’m there.
L: Cool. How are you doing on the preliminary qualifications that will allow you to become an officer?
D: I just have a couple more things to do for the first part and the Public Affairs Officer, a Lieutenant Commander, is helping me get it done.
L: Nice. Did you get a chance to go to the Navy Exchange, where sailors and their families can buy clothes, groceries, gas, and many other things for less?
D: Nah, but I’ll go tomorrow, I need a haircut to meet the standards of the Navy anyway.

See? It’s like a code. There are so many other things like that, and sometimes they don’t even refer to Navy-related things. It’s like they just decided to change the words of every common everyday thing. This is what the Navy does to a basic building:

Door=Hatch
Floor=Deck
Hallway=P Way
Bathroom=Head
Steps= Ladder Wells

I used to think I’d need a dictionary to be able to decipher some of what my boy was talking about, but now it’s as natural as English (well, most of it is. There are always more goddam acronyms to learn. The Navy LOVES acronyms. Anything they can shorten, they go for it).And, plus, it does feel kind of cool to be able to use the right terms when I talk to my boyfriend about his job. But they really should publish a Sailor to English dictionary.